Z uhla pohľadu zemiakov sú vegetariáni najväčšie svine na svete.
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| "Pán vrchný, som tu len so slečnou a vy mi počítate tri večere!" "Áno, ale Vaša pani, ktorá Vás pozorovala od iného stolu, bola tiež hladná!" |
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| "James, strc krave chvost do zastrcky." "Preco, pane?" "Lebo mam chut na teple mlieko." |
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Maroško volá do rádia:
- Dnes ráno som našiel peňaženku a bolo
v nej 1000 dolárov, 4000 mariek a 30000
korún. Bola tu aj adresa: Peter Novák,
Vajnorská 12, Bratislava. Prosím vás,
zahrajte mu nejakú peknú pesničku.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stretnú sa dve korytnačky a jedna je bez panciera.
"Čo sa ti stalo?"
"Ale utiekla som z domova."
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Rodinný rozhovor:
- Mama, volala si ma?
- Nie.
- Oco, ty si ma volal?
- Nie.
- Babka, ani ty si ma nevolala?
- Nie.
- Dobre! Tak sformulujem otázku inak: "My dnes nebudeme vôbec nič žrať??!!"
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- Viete, ako v Rusku zabíjajú zajace?
- Jednoducho zoberú kameň, nasypú naň korenie, zajac príde, kýchne a rozbije si hlavu.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Učiteľ hovorí žiakovi:"Ako ti mám vysvetliť že slovo"neni" neni spisovné!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
| Komu sa žije na svete najlepšie? Sklerotikovi - má všetko, na čo si spomenie. |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Príde babka od kaderníčky a pýta sa vnuka:
"Rudko, že už nevyzerám ako stará babka?"
"Nie babi, teraz vyzeráš ako starý dedko."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Rozprávajú > sa dvaja muži o ženách. Prvý hovorí:
> > Žena je ako platňa, obohrá sa a > vymení za novú.
> > Druhý na to povie:
> > Vieš, kamarát, tá platňa sa > dá otočiť na druhú stranu a až
>potom sa
>môže vymeniť.
> > Blízko > stojaca babka ich počuje a takto sa im prihovorí:
> > -Ej,chlapci,chlapci, > veci sa majú inak! Ak je platňa obohratá,
>vymení
>sa ihla a platňa > hrá pekne ďalej!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Miško, čím chceš byť, keď vyrastieš?
- Policajtom.
- A ty Peťko?
- Zlodejom, aby sme sa mohli spolu hrať.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Babka má odložené zuby v pohári. Vnučka vezme pohár a obzerá si ho z každej strany. Po chvíli povie:
"Babka, aké ty máš krásne zuby, ani jeden kaz."
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